>Prepare metal pipe in case some dick on dick street decides to mug you.

It’s wise to always be ready for a fight.


>Go down on Dick street.

I see wut u did there


>Go North on Dick street. If you don’t know which way is North, use the pipe like a divining prod.

What if Dick Street isn’t even north-south? Ever think of THAT?

>Turn left on Dick Street and look for some dicks while quoting Mitch Hedberg one liners.

Well that seems universal enough. Except to the left is the most hideous squirrel you’ve ever seen. So hideous that the artist cannot even depict him. So instead you turn right. Sorry.


Suddenly, you think you’ve solved the mystery about how this street got its name.

So, is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool opotamus? I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks, and it was way too literal for me. Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Speaking of which, you are really hungry.

[Leave a comment to post a command!]